• Gibson "Ragdoll" Custom - A custom Gibson Les Paul made to look like a ragdoll. In 1983, the Pizza Bakers' manager, Michael Devins, the then co-owner of the Fleetwood Roller Rink, approached Gibson with a request from Robert. His instructions for Gibson were to make a Gibson Les Paul Standard, cover it in carved foam, paint it to look like a ragdoll (like Raggedy Ann) and put every kind of available electronics into it. A year later, in time for their debut album "Italian Food Songs", it arrived, and began usage by Robert. When Robert was in the Spacemen band lead by his then-girlfriend Christine Martinez, it was vinyl-wrapped black.
  • Crucianelli Spazial - "Everybody who has seen us live knows it's time for insanity when our third member (currently Will M) whips out the "Moon Guitar" and practically attempts to turn his fingers into stubs with our super duper-rare Crucianelli Spazial imported from Italy." A wonderful testimony from the space conquest age, contemporary to the no less adventurous Eko Rokes/Rocket but much less famous. For some reason, this very rare Spazial series is found in Italy only but was available in both 6-string and bass versions. This moon crescent shape is more rational in some way than it seems: body and scratchplate outlines were drawn according to three radiuses only, it couldn’t be done simpler. The hardware locates those instruments in the year 1965, and includes an exceptional assymetrical neck plate. The headstock design was also used for the ‘Custom-Built’ logoed fiddle basses.
  • 1932 Ro-Pat-In Elektro - Robert bought his Elektro at a garage sale in the late 70's with his dad, and began hard work restoring it. It was restored fully in time for the Pizza Bakers' debut album "Italian Food Songs"
  • 1967 La Baye 2x4 - Robert's first electric guitar, also bought from a garage sale. The elusive and coveted La Baye 2x4 was first manufactured in 1967. This minimalist design was the brainchild of a Green Bay, WI guitarist by the name of Dan Helland and no doubt influenced Ned Steinberger’s futuristic headless composite guitars that reared up a few years later. Essentially, the La Baye 2x4 is a plank of wood with a slim neck bolted on, four thumb-wheel tone and volume adjusters on the top, and a Bigsby-style vibrato unit that is highly expressive. With only 45 or so ever made, one should be prepared to pay a couple grand or more for the real deal. Robert also owns a red reissue from Eastwood Guitars, often used as a backup.
  • 1982 Fender Telecaster - The Fender Telecaster of the band was heavily inspired by Devo's early guitars. The guitar is heavily weathered and road worn, has a strap with tons of duct tape on it, has a custom guitar modulator attached to it with tons of duct tape and paint tape hanging off it, has the first two strings replaced with steel-string guitar ones, and looks kinda smashed.
  • 1951 Fender Nocaster - The so-called Nocaster was a short-lived variant of Telecaster. Produced in early to mid-1951, it was the result of legal action from the Gretsch company over the guitar's previous name, the Broadcaster (Gretsch already had the "Broadkaster" name registered for a line of drums). In the interim, before Fender had come up with an alternate name and printed appropriately revised headstock decals, factory workers simply snipped the "Broadcaster" name from its existing stock of decals, so guitars with these decals are identified simply as "Fender", without any model name. By the summer of 1951 the guitar was officially renamed as the Telecaster and has been known as such ever since. The term Nocaster was originally coined by collectors to denote these transitional guitars that appeared without a model name on the headstock. Since they were manufactured in this form for only a few months very early in the Broadcaster/Telecaster's history, original Nocasters are highly prized and expensive collector's items. There are no official production numbers, but experts estimate that fewer than 500 Nocasters were produced. Fender has since registered Nocaster as a trademark to denote its modern replicas of this famous rarity.
  • 1989 Dean Budweiser "Bow Tie" electric guitar - Robert bought this guitar in 1989 new. This guitar is in excellent condition overall (Robert bought a second one used as a display guitar in 2013 as a backup) despite having been used in countless tours and recordings. It was a limited edition guitar, and little is known about said guitar.
  • Washburn Bud Light BL-1 guitar - Known as "Bud 2" to fans, it is one of the band's many "odd guitars". Also purchased by Robert new, but he keeps forgetting which year he bought it.
  • Rocker RXB-100 - Nicknamed the "Stratoclone", known for being featured in the "Reverend Billy Needs to See a Doctor" music video. It was part of a pack with an amplifier and two other stratoclones.
  • 2016 Maestro GLP665 - The latest guitar bought by the band. Featured in the recent live tour.
  • ANTiSEEN - Not only is Louis' most beloved guitar one he has toted around on the road and played the crap out of, it’s also a tribute guitar to GG Allin. The guitar was built from wooden logs that were once a part of the log cabin that GG Allin grew up in, located in Groveton, New Hampshire. The headstock was made from a fighter helmet GG is seen wearing in this picture. The neck is covered in some of GG's blood and was covered in clear plastic to preserve the stains. GG carved his name into the guitar's fingerboard as well, resulting in some of the position inlays being on the sides not to interfere with the carving. Louis also uses the guitar as Emily BloodLust, his drag queen persona.
  • Chapman Stick - Robert's Chapman Stick is Rosewood with white guitar pattern inlays. Robert is known to play Chapman Sticks like electric guitars.
  • XOX Handle - One of the many carbon fiber guitars that are popping up now. Debuted live in concert at a show at the Karma Nightclub & Cabaret in 2009.
  • 1967 Yamaha SG3C "Red Banana" - Robert's second-most favorited guitar. First seen in 1991 at a charity show performed for the Autism Society of America at Six Flags AstroWorld's Southern Star Amphitheater after 6 months in restoration.
  • 1966 Yamaha Flying Samurai SG-5 - Kristian's main axe during her time with the band as a main member was a white-bodied 1966 SG-5 with a red pickguard.
  • 1978 Conn 16B - Kristian, as part of the backing band for the Bakers, the Stromboli Makers, uses a Conn 16B trumpet formerly owned by her father. When Kristian joined the band, Robert modified it with spare wires, an amp plug, and a Electro-Harmonix V256 vocoder, enabling Kristian to hook it up to an amplifier to make the vocoder work.
  • 1951 Bach piccolo trumpet - Kristian's Bach piccolo trumpet was also modified by Robert, this time he modified it with spare wires, an amp plug, and an Electro-Harmonix Voice Box when a vocoder synth wasn't available.
  • Super Rock Keytar - A toy from the early 1990's, Robert's Super Rock Keytar was used to provide the bass line on live performances of the Heathcliff theme song.
  • 1963 Jolana Big Beat - Purchased by Robert in 1987 from a car boot sale while the cast of The Jeff Jones Show was visiting the Soviet Union, Robert has used it numerous times in the recordings for the band. It provided the "wah-wah-wah-wah-wah" sound on "You Idiot!" from the album Lovebirds.


  • 1976 Fibes Crystalite set - These drums are practically see-through. The band has a larger set of the drums.


  • 1935 Accordion Italo- American Special - The sound used for most of the band's faux-Italian folk songs.
  • Scandalli Super VI - This accordion was used to provide the bass line on "You Idiot!" from the album Lovebirds.


  • Roland Jupiter-80 - The newest keyboard of the band.
  • Synthman - Home made keyboard.